I started reading a new book this week called ‘The Courage to be Disliked’ - it’s been a grouse read so far, hopefully I’ll bowl it over this weekend but I can already tell it’ll be on my favorites list for sure. It essentially follows an illuminating conversation between a philosopher and a young pup. The philosopher explains to his learner how each of us are able to determine our own lives, free of the shackles of past experiences, skepticism and expectations of others.
It's a way of thinking that I’ve so far found really liberating and could light a fire of courage to make changes and block out noise from anchors around us as well as develop the courage to ignore the limitations from ourselves and others.
Before even getting past the first chapter the title just struck me…
Think about it... the courage to actually be disliked. What it means, what it stands for and what it entails.
It’s a hard pill to swallow hey? The actual concept of being disliked. It is one that does in fact take courage.
Courage is one of the strongest qualities I think a person can have. It isn’t something I also believe someone is inherently born with but comes instead like a well formed, strong muscle - from years of working out.
I thought to myself about what it means to have the courage to be disliked.
To be honest, I feel I have a fair amount of courage that can be applied to fathoming being disliked. Thinking back to why I feel brave enough to accept rejection and how I got to a point of being okay with being disliked, I realised it was an evolution in personal development and didn’t happen overnight. Am I confidently all the way there yet? Probably not, but do I have courage to be disliked - yes!
And here’s why….
- I think in everything that you do and in all that you are, you have to confidently own that before understanding that you won’t put that on the line for a tick of approval for anyone.
- Confidence in ‘you’ is only ever something that is earned and required by you. So if you put your eggs in the basket of others, I feel like this in itself is an anchor. It restrains you from being that person that can shake off opinions in a room and go forth with full confidence in yourself.
- If you can make you happy and not inflict harm on anyone around you then your happiness should be your own prerogative and not come second to that of others. This is when you lose courage to be disliked through the sheer need to be liked as a source of your own happiness.
The courage to be disliked. It’s powerful and meaningful and it’s a muscle that I think should be regularly trained.