Am I lost or is it the planets?

So I feel lost. Since I’ve been in business I’ve always been the type of person that will deal with the immediate and will let future Jade problems be packed away for only when it needs to be addressed. Unlike Amal, my business partner, I am not massive on planning whereas she likes to have all the T’s crossed and I’s dotted well in advance. For example, this week we had the biggest laugh at how she was demanding in-app text from me immediately which was needed for 7 weeks time. Bless, I love this about her and it does make me laugh, but it also keeps us on top of our shit.

So when I think about 3, 6 even 12 months down the track I really freak out. I get anxiety knowing how needy I am to a sort of energy edrenalin, that I need to be doing something ‘big’ and impactful next. 

I was chatting to my EA Bri about this, this morning. I was saying ‘what am I doing with my life’ and she just laughed at how funny that sounds coming from I guess the girl that seems to have it all figured out. But I think the thing is right, it doesn’t matter how much you seem to have it all together on the outside I’m a dead believer in everyone at some point or another going through a phase of feeling lost… maybe even multiple phases, I phase in and out of lostness like the moon goes through phases.

So apparently there’s a ‘thing’ you go through in your late 20’s, early 30’s it’s called a Saturn return. It’s like a wake up call, you reassess whether your life legs are sturdy enough to walk you through your senior years and you really think about what you want to do with the rest of your life. Sometimes we make life choices before we really know who we are and in a Saturn return these choices may reveal to be out of sync with our true destiny.

If we’re already this deep, I’m going to be honest with you.. Once upon a time I thought success in business was at the core of my existence. I couldn’t wait to find my ‘thing’ and be an actual powerhouse. While I dreamed of what I have now, do you know what I’ve learned actually makes me the happiest… I love writing, I love playing golf with my Dad, I love getting fish and chips on the beach, I love being with my siblings and family, I love exercising and business coaching.. I love all these wholesome things that don’t involve money and materialism. While I love that for me, I am now aware that all the things that I strived for that once upon a time defined success, aren’t exactly what I now define as ‘successful’. 

Saturn return can put you face to face with your fears and there it is for me. What if everything that you thought to be was not as you thought it would seem once it came to be?

So younger you set out on a mission to strive for this life assuming it would make older you proud as punch. Older you loves and admires younger you for doing that but now she’s ready to take the reigns. That’s where I am now. Older and wiser.. definitely stronger me is ready to take the baton. I think once you make this decision to cross to the next phase of your life in confidence it can seem overwhelming. What does the next phase of life look like? Is it a new house? Is it settling down and having kids? Is it a career change? Whatever the solution to the ‘lost’ you looks like just be gentle with yourself in the process.

You don’t have to have all the answers overnight, and I think that was something that came out of my ‘quarter life crisis ft Saturn returns’ this week. It’s okay not to know everything, but if you’re a happy soul (I’m a happy soul) and you love your life (I love my life) it’s key to love what you have while working for what you want… and if you haven’t quite figured out what that next chapter looks like, enjoy the bloody ride!